Unfinished business A.K.A. Dying Soul

The last chapter of the Dying series is finally up. Incomplete as it is, there is no doubt many who will curse me for leaving so many lose ends. Frankly it has been sitting on my laptop for years untouched. It is finally time to admit defeat and stop pretending this story will ever be finished the way it deserves.

The muse has left me dry. My lack of inspiration had several contributing factors. They are in no particular order:

Life has been turbulent. Moving twice, in our case across the globe, as well as having to start businesses and figure out living arrangements takes a toll. No need to elaborate on real life, we all have one and know how chaotic it can get.

True Blood has sucked me dry. From mid second season it was a progressive slope downwards, with hope being slowly strangled as the plot and characters were slowly getting worse and worse. I have to admit there was some promising things in season 3, but overall it sucked. Badly.

The nail in the proverbial coffin of my Sookieverse muse was the ending to the book series. While I applaud and thank Charlaine Harris for all the work she has put into the series over the years ,as well as be forever grateful for the creation of these characters that have become so dear to many of us. The last couple of books left me drained and I never did finish the last one. I could not.

Let me explain, please, as this is not a specific rant against Mrs Harris.

She has every right as an author to take her character where she wants her to go. I always admired that she made Sookie such an independent woman, it was after all her character that had most of us reading these books for years. Yet, one of the things that frustrated me was Sookie’s desire to be ordinary when she is extraodinary.

Her earning to blend into the background with the rest of the miserably ordinary folks in Bon Temps and get together with a person who for all the books she considers a friend is hardly a satisfying ending.

Now, enough of that.

I am a bit of a hypocrite, I haven’t even finished my series. So really, who am I to judge.

Speaking of Dying series. I’ve also outgrown it. Plain and simple. It was one of the first things I wrote. I cringe every time when I think how strongly I feel about these kind of stories now. But it is mine. I learned a lot. And part of me will always be fond of it.

Maybe. Some day. I will come back to it. Maybe not.

Regardless, I would like to thank everyone who has read it. It is a privilege and an honor. I hope you enjoyed it. Don’t take the stories too seriously. After all, they are just fanfiction. The perverted fantasies of an over-active imagination.

Having said that. I’m still writing. Just not in the Sookieverse for the moment.



Dying Soul

An attempt at blogging.

I have always been against blogging or keeping a diary. Why write down your private thoughts where they can potentially be used against you? I am not especially paranoid, but having a mother that tends to stick her nose in my business—even now, although I live across the world from her and am a mother myself—makes one less trusting.

Having said that all that, I can admit to enjoying reading blogs. Not all of them. The blogs about food, sports and generally anything that has nothing to do with writing do not interest me. Sure the occasional one will catch my attention; there is my addiction to interior design, sarcasm and, now that I think about it, a few other interest that don’t need to be listed but that need feeding on a regular basis to consider.

Trust issues aside there is another problem with me blogging or writing a ‘Dear diary’ note. It’s called writer’s block. When you read all those fun and interesting, not to mention brilliant posts about other people’s daily life and compare it to your own boring routine, things don’t add up. My life is boring in my eyes. Maybe it’s why I like to read so much? It could be. It could also be the problem of “grass being greener elsewhere.”

Why? Because I like to read to escape my life, not write about how boring it is.

Then I wondered, maybe other people would find my life just as interesting. Maybe other would enjoy my thoughts, since they seem to like the fanfiction I write.

The stroke to my ego worked. At least it is working at the moment. So while the iron is hot, I’m striking hard. I’m ready. Willing even.

My first official blogging post is being written.

Now that I am writing it, the fear is gone. Sure part of me is still wondering if my mum is searching the internet for anything that gets uploaded from this laptop. Maybe she even figured out which site I post on? I don’t know, and am not about to ask the dragon. Or think this through too long since I’ll chicken out.

Fear, insecurity and other niggling doubts aside I’d like to talk about my favorite subject. The reason I started this site in the first place: FanFiction.

Books have been my escape for years. I hated the things until one day my mother (ironically) gave me a copy of Greek myths and legends. The fantastical word of beautiful goddesses, powerful promiscuous gods, monsters and the obligatory legendary heroes took my breath away and my heart was lost.

Since then I haven’t strayed far. I still love gods and goddesses, monsters and heroes. I just happen to write about them too.

Writing had never been something I wanted to do. My dream as a child had to do with following my parents into the world of business, namely counting money for others. I clung to the dream long enough to realize that I strangled it. Or maybe it strangled me. Either way, the relationship was finished and it was time to move on.

At some point in my life I did consider designing. That had been a fling.

Then I sat back and really thought about it. What did I enjoy? By then I realized that I was the type of person who couldn’t really accomplish much in a workplace I hated, and doing a job I dreaded to get up for everyday.

Reading had been the only hobby I stuck to for years. But writing my own book seemed scary, way out there. English is my second language. I was never any good at essays in school. No way I could possibly be an accomplished writer, or really write anything at all.

Well. Yeah. I’m getting sidetracked.

What really got me started was my constant “what if” game. Almost every book I read, every movie I watch, I play the game. What if so-and-so got together instead, they suited each other more. Yes, I am a romantic, and tend to have my imaginary plot changes based on romances I strongly disagree with.

One of the first times my hands got itchy to really do something about it was when I was reading Southern Vampire Mysteries. Before I go on let me just point out that I truly respect Charlaine Harris for all the hard work she puts into her writing. And believe you me; writing is hard work.

Now, what got me going was not the fact that I didn’t enjoy the sexual tension she wrote into her novels. I did. What got me going was the twists and turns Charlaine written into Sookie’s character; some of which I loved, but some, well, those made me want to rip my hair out (I would never resort to torching books).

Sookie Stackhouse. Telepathic waitress who can’t date humans due to her quirk. Yes, telepathy takes a whole new meaning of knowing too much information during those private times when you get close and personal with a crush.

She’s smart, although not educated, loyal and slightly better than average looking. Blond, can’t forget that. Maybe I can attribute some of the quirks that really annoy me to her brain dysfunction due to hair color?

Yes, you’re probably wondering what that is. The flaw that made me bonkers and start my search for FanFiction. And looking it was, since the first instinct to write had been squashed by the insecurities mentioned earlier.

There are several, but by far the worse one is her inability to fully commit to someone. She’s independent. Go girl! Hats off to you, but don’t put boundaries on your boyfriend. If he wants to give you a huge rock, just smile and say thank you. If he wants to give you a car and yours is barely rolling; do no stomp away crying “I am woman hear me roar.”

Sookie is telepathic; those who are reading this know that. Those who aren’t familiar with Sookie and my fics: thanks for reading, I’ll try to make sure you don’t get bored and hopefully will be interested in reading Mrs Harris’ books and after that my fics. Be aware there are major spoilers coming up.

Telepathy means you read others thoughts. Lucky for Sookie she can’t hear vampires. She can barely hear Werewolves, not that it’s an option, since every relationship she had with a furry guy turned out to be dead ended due to one reason or another(ha ha ha).

That’s cool. Sookie still has the option of snuggling up to the undead. She even doesn’t mind the body temperature, and really digs the fangs. Brave of her.

Being in a relationship with a vampire raises issues such as how they eat, the fact that they are ‘allergic’ to the sun and most importantly they are semi-immortal (after all a sharp piece of wood and poof goes the vampire).

For those telepaths with limited dating options there are several choices: die a virgin, find a Were who doesn’t have crazy ex-girlfriend gunning to kill you or insane family they need to protect, or date a vampire.

Limited dating options, but still doable. I mean who wouldn’t want to do a sexy Viking if given the chance, right ladies?

Yet, Sookie Stackhouse, in all her infinite wisdom (I’m saying that because she has clearly thought about her life and the reasonable chance of having a normal one) has a dream. She wants the whole nine yards: white picket fence, kids and a husband that puts her first.

The dream is good. I have dreams. We all have them.

That is not the main problem, although you can see how it is a major hurdle when one is dating a vampire who cannot give children, has a political career he has to juggle so he will live another night and be intimate with the first person he was attracted to in centuries.

I’m not going to even mention vampire sharing issues. They suck at it. All of them.

So Sookie goes ahead and falls in love with a vampire. As I pointed out it is her only option in the pool of available guys. Then what?

Apparently that’s it.

She’s not interested in long term. She is even less interested in being a vampire. And love is not enough to make her consider the question.

I’ve read posts where they point out the difficulties of being a vampire. The fact that most vampires do not stay together past the first few decades and that love fades over time. I tend to agree, yet the romantic part of me screams in protest.

This is fiction. This is where all our dreams come true. This is where we come to when our life sucks and we want a hit of a happily ever after so we can delude ourselves into believing that things can get better. After all Sookie managed to work it out, right? Wrong.

Sookie managed to fall in love with a guy, yes. The vampire seems to love her back. She’s still unhappy with how much time he spends on vampire politics. She’s dealing with it. What she seems unable to do is compromise.

He does. She just says: I love you, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you.

This is where I started to look around for Fanfiction. I love the characters in the books. I love the world Mrs Harris has painstakingly created. I will be forever grateful to her for allowing us readers, fans and in some cases obsessive weirdos to play with her world. In case you are wondering, I fall in the latter category.

It has been a dream come true for me to find so many other like-minded people. And a wet dream to find so many amazing stories about characters I love and adore, that go into more detail than sometimes seems necessary when it comes to intimacy. Although, I admit that my dirty mind soaked up every bit of the depravity written therein.

Fanfiction has opened up a whole new door for me into a world that was already achingly familiar.

But most of all I would like to thank Mrs Harris for creating Sookie Stackhouse with all the flaws. If it wasn’t for them I would have never found out about Fanficiton, never been brave enough to try my hand at it and never found something that has become a major part of my life.

I love reading. Yet, writing is infinitely more satisfying.

When friends ask me if I plan to write my own novels, I tell them “yes.” Then the proceed to ask if I plan to write them anytime soon, since obviously the idea to being a writer is to get paid for it. And they all get shocked when I say no, I’m planning to write Fanfiction for a while. That particular topic is a whole other post, so I will wrap this up.

Blogging is not something I’m planning to turn into a regular thing. I just don’t know if I can find enough things to talk about, or maybe I will discover a talent for making boring interesting and then you’ll be stuck with reading lots of updates, maybe even daily ones.

Having said that, I enjoyed writing this post/blog entry/whatever you want to name it. It may jump too much from topic to topic, my brain does too. I’m sure my arguments aren’t fool proof. I don’t care.

There are probably many mistakes, I’m trying to become a writer and have never claimed to be a proofreader.

What I care about is getting it out of my system. To get thoughts onto paper or computer screen, just write. Isn’t that what it’s all about? 



 p.s. For those of you who are my loyal fans and are patiently waiting for an update: I am writing. I haven’t forgotten you. I miss you. Its tough going, but I haven’t abandoned you. So don’t worry; rain, hail or the Apocalypse, I will continue to write in the free time I have from battling my own bad guys.

A Dying Heart update….

So, I know I’m a bit late. My birthday was last week: am  I forgiven? J

Nah, that’s not the reason, although I wish it was. I’ve actually been working…a lot…like 12 hour days, almost 7 days a week. When I’m not working I’m spending time with my much neglected daughter which leaves me with zero creative juices and even less time to write.

In the spirit of Christmas, I do hope you forgive me. My betas and I made a last push to get this chapter finished. Unfortunately I have zero chapters ready after this one. I am working on another one. More of a finishing  fluffy fun one, but it’s nowhere near done and will not be for a while.

I am sad to say I’ll be taking an extended hiatus from writing fanfiction. I’m not sure when my RL will give me a chance to get back to it. It’s hard for me to write this since I love this story and all the other ones that I have yet to finish and write. When there will be more time and opportunity for me to get creative I’ll leap back into it. PROMISE!!!

Thank you for all of your support so far. I hope you have a joyful and wonderful Christmas and happy New Year!

I’m making a wish this NY: for my business to go well so I can have plenty of writing time. 😉



Huge big Christmas thank you to BathshebaRocks and MellyKen who did the honors of beta’ing this chapter for me. I love you guys!

Disclaimer: I don’t own TB or SVM, but the storyline is all mine and so is Lexie. 

Dying Heart

Chapter 16


A Dying Heart update….

Here is the promised surprise POV chapter. I hope the action is fun and my introduction of yet another OC is okay. While I love the original characters created by CH and TB, it seems I can’t help but make my own as well. It is a step towards writing something original for me. Somewhat scary, since I am fully responsible for the development of the personality, history and the rest of the intricate work that goes into creating an interesting character. I hope you enjoy the ones I’ve introduced so far.

Thank you for reading my story and I’ll be around again in a week or so, depending on work (which has been taking more and more of my time lately). Lucky for all of us Dying Heart is nearing the end and I will (hopefully) be able to post a chapter a week until it is done.

For those of you that must be wondering if I’ll be continuing the story there is good news. I will be starting Dying Soul after I’m done with this one (that’s the sequel). Starting to write it, not publish it. Due to the complexity of the story I’m considering waiting to finish the first draft before I publish anything. The story will become completely AU and I will be creating lots of my own drama for Sookie. Although I will leave a few plot elements from both SVM and TB.

That’s all I’m saying for now. I’m sure I’ll tease you all more at a later date. 😉

Dying Heart

Chapter 14- Eric



A Dying Heart update….

So I’m posting this chapter a little early, purely because I’m bribing…

… The next chapter is kind of finished, but…I am thinking of writing an in-between chapter…that is to say one from a different POV that fits after this one but before the next Sookie POV chapter. No, not telling which POV it’ll be, surely you can guess whose is still missing from this installment in the Dying series?

Anyway, while I have a plan for it, I still need to write it, which I’m not sure when I can manage since I think I’m working the whole weekend. That’s good and bad, if we’re busy I won’t be able to write, if not, well, I may actually get something finish.

Enough rambling.

I take my hat off to MellyKen and BatshebaRocks: they take the time to weed my writing off all the stupidity I tend to inflict on the English language on daily basis. Any mistakes are my own and were done because I couldn’t help but fiddle after I got the chapter back.

And now….

Dying Heart

Chapter 14



ps. I’m sure there will be a few questions when you’re done reading, I promise I’ll answer them in the next Sookie chapter. 😉

A Dying Heart update…

As promised here is the update…

Dying Heart Chapter 13

Huge big fat thank you to MellyKen and BathshebaRocks for being awesome and cleaning my chapters. I heart them so freaking much!




A pimp and A Dying Heart Update: CH 12

If you haven’t heard of Vic_Vega66 then I would strongly recommend you check out her stories. She just uploaded her last years entry for NANOWRIMO (hence the banner I made for her that’s at the top of this post). It is awesome-the story that is. So are the other stories she has up on her site: A scandalous whore.

Since this is a holiday weekend and the holiday is Halloween I thought it would be nice to have some extra goodness to read. Do I hear a yes? Well, you’re in luck.

Dying Heart Chapter 12

This chapter has been beta’ed by the lovely MellyKen and BathshebaRocks.

enjoy, let me know what ya think and have a spookie holiday,



Dying Heart Chapter 11


It’s been a while since I’ve updated so hello to everyone who hasn’t given me up for dead yet. There have been some tech issues and RL issues that have prevented me from getting to a computer and internet.

Since it’s been such a long time I decided to put in a summary for you guys. Hell, I needed to re-read when I started writing.

What’s happened so far…

Sookie was attacked by Weres on her way home from Bon Temps to Shreveport. Godric organized security for her and after their second blood-exchange she started glowing. No, not her hands, just generally glowing, which so far has proved harmless.

At some point after that Sookie decided to move in “officially” with her vamps and quit her job at Merlotte’s. Yay for her! But due to Bill getting into trouble in Jackson she hasn’t had a chance to enjoy the extra free time.

The trio agreed that it would be better for Sookie to investigate. Godric hadn’t been happy with the idea so he made his way to Jackson ahead of Sookie to keep an eye on her.

When Sookie and Alcide showed up and Club Dead (aka Josepehine’s) he was already part of Russell’s group leaving Sookie confused and hurt after his shut down when she got hassled by the local Were-gang, in the process gaining Russell’s attention as well as an invitation to come back the next night.

Alcide and Sookie made their way home after an eventful night only to discover the same gang member waiting for them at the apartment. Sookie killed him before he had the chance to get to her, but was wounded during the scuffle.

Eric showed up just in time to help her heal and comfort her.

The next night at Club Dead somehow Steve Newlin snuck in and attempted to kill Betty Joe, which Sookie prevented. An all out brawl started and all the Weres shifted leaving Sookie without a companion. Russell invited her back to his place on the pretext of thanking her for her help.

And that’s the short version of the events. If you want the longer one, go back and re-read. *grin*

A huge big thank you to MellyKen and BetshebaRocks who helped me get this chapter ready. Any mistakes left are my own since I couldn’t resist making last minute changes.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to CH and AB.

p.s. In case you are wondering if it’ll be another decade till the next update I have good news: it’s already being beta’ed and should be up next week.

Dying Heart: Chapter 11

OMG….it just may be…Oh! yes it is!


While I can’t say I have a perfectly good excuse for taking this long to update I do have a semi-good one. I’m sure it doesn’t sound nearly as interesting to you, but I have been distracted by my pool practice.

As in billiard pool, not swimming pool.

My hubs is obsessed with the sport and being a dutiful wife I quickly realized that in order to spend more time with him I would probably have to at least learn how to play passably well. Which I did, and that was years ago.

Then we had a kid and all pool practice for me finished. Since coming to the island I have taken it up again. You can thank my lovely MIL for babysitting our bub during all the hours I spent at the table. J

Now you would think that I would spend them writing. I wish I could of, but there wasn’t a chance in hell.

Let me just explain why.

I am had seriously bad bad writers block. Yes, bad bad, not just bad. I’ve had more time, more relaxed atmosphere, but not a single interesting bit of storyline. Do you realize how frustrating that is? It’s hell I tell ya! Especially when I am the one who wants to know where things are going just as much as you do. Sure I know the overall picture (that includes the next two installments btw). But the middle, smaller details that fill up the chapters….I am as clueless until I write them as everyone else. I just get to read them before you guys, and make lots of corrections so you can read a passably interesting story.

Plus there was the constant issue of my lappie not working and then being high jacked by hub and bub team….then the internet decided to be a whore as well. It really felt like technology conspired against me.

Ok, getting back to pool, my distraction. I managed to finish in the top 10 on my little island for the women’s 8 ball comp. Considering I only had 5 weeks in which to practice and perfect my skill, that is seriously not too bad. Of course, it does say a lot about the actual competition I’ve had. I doubt I’d have gotten in the top 20 in Australia.

See what I mean about getting distracted?

Ok, so back on track, and a quick summary for you as well.

Sookie is still in Jackson (Gods how much I’ve come to hate the place ever since my stupid writers block). She is staying with Alcide, Godric is under cover at the mansion with Russel and deliciously gay Talbot. He was also pissed when Sooks left the club. She assumes he was pissed at her. She gets attacked by the Were biker and kills him, Eric gives her blood after healing her wound. They get hot and heavy (see previous chapter for details).

SO enough with the blah blah on with the story….

Oh! One more thing: Characters aren’t mine….I do not own much….I also make no money what so ever from this….

Dying Heart Chapter 10



ps all mistakes are my own, in this post as well as the chapter


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