I have always been against blogging or keeping a diary. Why write down your private thoughts where they can potentially be used against you? I am not especially paranoid, but having a mother that tends to stick her nose in my business—even now, although I live across the world from her and am a mother myself—makes one less trusting.
Having said that all that, I can admit to enjoying reading blogs. Not all of them. The blogs about food, sports and generally anything that has nothing to do with writing do not interest me. Sure the occasional one will catch my attention; there is my addiction to interior design, sarcasm and, now that I think about it, a few other interest that don’t need to be listed but that need feeding on a regular basis to consider.
Trust issues aside there is another problem with me blogging or writing a ‘Dear diary’ note. It’s called writer’s block. When you read all those fun and interesting, not to mention brilliant posts about other people’s daily life and compare it to your own boring routine, things don’t add up. My life is boring in my eyes. Maybe it’s why I like to read so much? It could be. It could also be the problem of “grass being greener elsewhere.”
Why? Because I like to read to escape my life, not write about how boring it is.
Then I wondered, maybe other people would find my life just as interesting. Maybe other would enjoy my thoughts, since they seem to like the fanfiction I write.
The stroke to my ego worked. At least it is working at the moment. So while the iron is hot, I’m striking hard. I’m ready. Willing even.
My first official blogging post is being written.
Now that I am writing it, the fear is gone. Sure part of me is still wondering if my mum is searching the internet for anything that gets uploaded from this laptop. Maybe she even figured out which site I post on? I don’t know, and am not about to ask the dragon. Or think this through too long since I’ll chicken out.
Fear, insecurity and other niggling doubts aside I’d like to talk about my favorite subject. The reason I started this site in the first place: FanFiction.
Books have been my escape for years. I hated the things until one day my mother (ironically) gave me a copy of Greek myths and legends. The fantastical word of beautiful goddesses, powerful promiscuous gods, monsters and the obligatory legendary heroes took my breath away and my heart was lost.
Since then I haven’t strayed far. I still love gods and goddesses, monsters and heroes. I just happen to write about them too.
Writing had never been something I wanted to do. My dream as a child had to do with following my parents into the world of business, namely counting money for others. I clung to the dream long enough to realize that I strangled it. Or maybe it strangled me. Either way, the relationship was finished and it was time to move on.
At some point in my life I did consider designing. That had been a fling.
Then I sat back and really thought about it. What did I enjoy? By then I realized that I was the type of person who couldn’t really accomplish much in a workplace I hated, and doing a job I dreaded to get up for everyday.
Reading had been the only hobby I stuck to for years. But writing my own book seemed scary, way out there. English is my second language. I was never any good at essays in school. No way I could possibly be an accomplished writer, or really write anything at all.
Well. Yeah. I’m getting sidetracked.
What really got me started was my constant “what if” game. Almost every book I read, every movie I watch, I play the game. What if so-and-so got together instead, they suited each other more. Yes, I am a romantic, and tend to have my imaginary plot changes based on romances I strongly disagree with.
One of the first times my hands got itchy to really do something about it was when I was reading Southern Vampire Mysteries. Before I go on let me just point out that I truly respect Charlaine Harris for all the hard work she puts into her writing. And believe you me; writing is hard work.
Now, what got me going was not the fact that I didn’t enjoy the sexual tension she wrote into her novels. I did. What got me going was the twists and turns Charlaine written into Sookie’s character; some of which I loved, but some, well, those made me want to rip my hair out (I would never resort to torching books).
Sookie Stackhouse. Telepathic waitress who can’t date humans due to her quirk. Yes, telepathy takes a whole new meaning of knowing too much information during those private times when you get close and personal with a crush.
She’s smart, although not educated, loyal and slightly better than average looking. Blond, can’t forget that. Maybe I can attribute some of the quirks that really annoy me to her brain dysfunction due to hair color?
Yes, you’re probably wondering what that is. The flaw that made me bonkers and start my search for FanFiction. And looking it was, since the first instinct to write had been squashed by the insecurities mentioned earlier.
There are several, but by far the worse one is her inability to fully commit to someone. She’s independent. Go girl! Hats off to you, but don’t put boundaries on your boyfriend. If he wants to give you a huge rock, just smile and say thank you. If he wants to give you a car and yours is barely rolling; do no stomp away crying “I am woman hear me roar.”
Sookie is telepathic; those who are reading this know that. Those who aren’t familiar with Sookie and my fics: thanks for reading, I’ll try to make sure you don’t get bored and hopefully will be interested in reading Mrs Harris’ books and after that my fics. Be aware there are major spoilers coming up.
Telepathy means you read others thoughts. Lucky for Sookie she can’t hear vampires. She can barely hear Werewolves, not that it’s an option, since every relationship she had with a furry guy turned out to be dead ended due to one reason or another(ha ha ha).
That’s cool. Sookie still has the option of snuggling up to the undead. She even doesn’t mind the body temperature, and really digs the fangs. Brave of her.
Being in a relationship with a vampire raises issues such as how they eat, the fact that they are ‘allergic’ to the sun and most importantly they are semi-immortal (after all a sharp piece of wood and poof goes the vampire).
For those telepaths with limited dating options there are several choices: die a virgin, find a Were who doesn’t have crazy ex-girlfriend gunning to kill you or insane family they need to protect, or date a vampire.
Limited dating options, but still doable. I mean who wouldn’t want to do a sexy Viking if given the chance, right ladies?
Yet, Sookie Stackhouse, in all her infinite wisdom (I’m saying that because she has clearly thought about her life and the reasonable chance of having a normal one) has a dream. She wants the whole nine yards: white picket fence, kids and a husband that puts her first.
The dream is good. I have dreams. We all have them.
That is not the main problem, although you can see how it is a major hurdle when one is dating a vampire who cannot give children, has a political career he has to juggle so he will live another night and be intimate with the first person he was attracted to in centuries.
I’m not going to even mention vampire sharing issues. They suck at it. All of them.
So Sookie goes ahead and falls in love with a vampire. As I pointed out it is her only option in the pool of available guys. Then what?
Apparently that’s it.
She’s not interested in long term. She is even less interested in being a vampire. And love is not enough to make her consider the question.
I’ve read posts where they point out the difficulties of being a vampire. The fact that most vampires do not stay together past the first few decades and that love fades over time. I tend to agree, yet the romantic part of me screams in protest.
This is fiction. This is where all our dreams come true. This is where we come to when our life sucks and we want a hit of a happily ever after so we can delude ourselves into believing that things can get better. After all Sookie managed to work it out, right? Wrong.
Sookie managed to fall in love with a guy, yes. The vampire seems to love her back. She’s still unhappy with how much time he spends on vampire politics. She’s dealing with it. What she seems unable to do is compromise.
He does. She just says: I love you, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you.
This is where I started to look around for Fanfiction. I love the characters in the books. I love the world Mrs Harris has painstakingly created. I will be forever grateful to her for allowing us readers, fans and in some cases obsessive weirdos to play with her world. In case you are wondering, I fall in the latter category.
It has been a dream come true for me to find so many other like-minded people. And a wet dream to find so many amazing stories about characters I love and adore, that go into more detail than sometimes seems necessary when it comes to intimacy. Although, I admit that my dirty mind soaked up every bit of the depravity written therein.
Fanfiction has opened up a whole new door for me into a world that was already achingly familiar.
But most of all I would like to thank Mrs Harris for creating Sookie Stackhouse with all the flaws. If it wasn’t for them I would have never found out about Fanficiton, never been brave enough to try my hand at it and never found something that has become a major part of my life.
I love reading. Yet, writing is infinitely more satisfying.
When friends ask me if I plan to write my own novels, I tell them “yes.” Then the proceed to ask if I plan to write them anytime soon, since obviously the idea to being a writer is to get paid for it. And they all get shocked when I say no, I’m planning to write Fanfiction for a while. That particular topic is a whole other post, so I will wrap this up.
Blogging is not something I’m planning to turn into a regular thing. I just don’t know if I can find enough things to talk about, or maybe I will discover a talent for making boring interesting and then you’ll be stuck with reading lots of updates, maybe even daily ones.
Having said that, I enjoyed writing this post/blog entry/whatever you want to name it. It may jump too much from topic to topic, my brain does too. I’m sure my arguments aren’t fool proof. I don’t care.
There are probably many mistakes, I’m trying to become a writer and have never claimed to be a proofreader.
What I care about is getting it out of my system. To get thoughts onto paper or computer screen, just write. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
p.s. For those of you who are my loyal fans and are patiently waiting for an update: I am writing. I haven’t forgotten you. I miss you. Its tough going, but I haven’t abandoned you. So don’t worry; rain, hail or the Apocalypse, I will continue to write in the free time I have from battling my own bad guys.